If you didn't catch Part 1 of this post you can visit it here. Today in this post I really wanted to share what I did to change my reality of being an overwhelmed mom who was just always playing catch up. I can't begin to explain how difficult I found being a new mother. The worst part was the 4 month sleep regression period because I had no idea what it was before it happened. I didn't feel in control anymore. I literally felt like I was just stumbling through my life, I stumbled through my kids activities, I felt totally out of control of what and who I was. So here are the key changes I made that helped me pivot my mindset and empowered me to get myself out of the funk and into the category of actually feeling like I was LIVING. Some of these ideas are small and simple, others are larger bigger habits I've created over this last year. Going through something this jarring can give off different effects, we all handle it differently. There are some who will turn to alternative medicines to help them through with the support of their doctor, one of them could be marijuana and it can be consumed in various ways, you can learn more about this over at sites like fatbuddhaglass.com, bear in mind that you should consult with your primary care physician first before embarking on any treatment. Whether it's pain, inflammation, or mental health issues that you need help dealing with, marijuana-related products like ccell palm are growing in popularity as a solution that targets many facets of wellness and health.
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Empower Yourself- Think of what makes you feel better and collected? The thing that I changed that in turn has completely empowered me is I get ready every day, first thing in the morning. Seems simple, but it's harder than I thought. We have crazy mornings, I have to get 2 kids out the door and dropped off by 7:30 each morning. I used to roll out of bed like 6:45 and scramble for the longest yet quickest 45 minutes of my life trying to get them out of the door and dropped off. Then, since I'm not a morning person... I would come home and lay around and slowly get myself ready or not really get ready at all.. I realized this was such a waste of my days and time. I'm not naturally a morning person so this has been a huge feat for me, but I made it a goal to get up at least by 5:45-6 each day and get myself completely ready for the day before we all go out the door at 7:30. I realized that I feel so much better in a cute top, with makeup and hair done. I feel more productive, more ambitious, and I think the part I like MOST is I feel empowered and ready. Feeling ambitious and empowered is a great thing to be when you own a small business or are just a SAHM either way there is SO much to do in a day when you're a mom.
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Put Yourself Back on the List- My schedule used to own me, pick up kids every other hour, take them to and fro, and then I would stay up late to catch up on all the things I had to do that didn't get done, whether that be house chores, or work, or just watch mindless TV because that was my "alone time" each day. Either way, I would go to bed like 12 am or later some days. I really enjoyed that quiet time either being productive or resting each night. I was in a fog, and just stumbling through each day. I felt my patience with my small children getting shorter and shorter. I realized the most common phrase I said to my sweet little kids was, "hurry up!" often in tone I wasn't proud of. I decided I needed to go to bed earlier because I was just tired guys, worn out, worn thin, I was just tired. Yes motherhood is exhausting, but a lot of that was because of the late nights I was pulling. After hard days not really being the type of parent I always hoped, I would regret things and be sad that my reality was not the happy motherhood I always wanted. I wanted to change. I decided that I needed to put MY health and mental wellness back on my list of things to get done and try going to bed earlier... maybe more sleep could help me be the mom I wanted to be. I wanted to bark at my kids less and enjoy them more. I used my tiredness as an excuse for not working out, which also made me feel terrible about myself. It was all just... not good. Now I go to bed around 8:30-9 each night and man... it is AMAZING what a night of sleep does for you. The fog has lifted, which even though it wasn't like a real tangible fog, but now that it's gone it might as well been LITERAL FOG... because now that I have mental clarity for the most part... I look back on those days and it felt like the fog was a real thing filling my days back then.
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Take Care of Yourself- Your physical health plays a lot into your mental health. The older I get the more I find this to be true. The last 2 years it got really bad, the fog was thick since I had my 3rd child, I stopped working out, I stopped eating healthy, I ate all the things and the highlights of my day often revolved around "treating myself" which is fine in moderation... but like... everyday is a problem. When you do this change I think it's important to pick 1 habit to improve upon... because complete HUGE lifestyle changing habits are a BIG thing and it's so easy to have an all or nothing mentality when it comes to healthier living. This time I wanted to the change to be permanent, so I picked one thing to change. First I ate healthier, I needed to change what food I was putting into my body BIG TIME. I needed to stop viewing food as a reward or punishment. I started thinking of food as straight fuel... you can buy different levels of fuel at the gas station, you can buy different levels of fuel at the grocery store. Once I started eating better I felt like I could tackle the working out thing. I tried workout plans, I tried hardcore gym workouts, but what I went back to was running. I realized that running was so calming for me... I didn't have to think about what I had to do next... I didn't need to race a clock... I could just go and stop when I had enough. I used to be a big cross fitter but all that feels too intense for this time in my life. I can get my body moving and it not be this CRAZY hour... it actually is super relaxing and almost zen.... which you guys... I am NOT a fast runner, I am not a good runner, I run very slow and I stop a lot... but I get it done and it's enough. I feel like doing it maybe at a slower pace over the year has helped me turn healthy eating and exercise into a habit and actually something I look forward to.
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Embrace your schedule- Okay this one seems crazy and more people are better at it than I think and certainly was. But I learned that my schedule could either suffocate me or I could work it to my benefit. I had two kids gone at school for the majority of the day and I knew, as we all know, that after school is a freaking mess. You have homework, practices, and everyone is a little emotional and starving. It's a hard time. SO in order to meet my other goals and things I wanted to change, I knew I needed to master our family schedule. My husband works a CRAZY work schedule, he works a lot of his typical days off, he works overtime, and I make my own work schedule. We started using Google Calendar for our family and it has literally changed our life. My husband and I are on the same page, we get notifications when something new gets added to the schedule, I know what he needs from me each week each day and more importantly... he knows what I need from him. We often talk on Sunday or Monday about what all is going on later in the week and what we need from each other. It has improved our marriage, improved our family, and definitely helped me feel more at peace and less suffocated by our days. I get asked a LOT about how I "do it" with a husband who works weird hours and weird days... and honestly it's just because I know each day what to expect for the most part. Embracing our schedule has been a life changer.
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Reach for help outside of yourself- I knew I needed more tools to become the better version of myself. I stole this idea from my husband. My husband started listening to a really great Author and podcast, Jocko, which is great and even I enjoy listening... he's a little hardcore but I can appreciate it. I could see him taking little lessons and ideas he was learning and applying them to his life, he was changing. This in turn led me to look for my own podcasts and books that would help give me the tools to become the person I wanted to be. I also have sought the greatest life truths more fully by reading lessons from our modern day prophets, paired evenly with more light hearted truths from my favorite Rachel Hollis, Alison Faulkner, and a whole slew of others... which could be a whole post on its own. I spend the time running kids around listening to self improvement books or podcasts... which are always a bright spot in my day. When I would spend hours in the car I would listen to music previously.. but I feel like that just contributed to the crazy fast out of control lifestyle-- filling my head with a lot of things that brought little value to me. This little habit of turning on a book or thought provoking podcast has really been the constant encouragement and nudge that I am already awesome, that I am in control of my life, that I can be who I want to be. Podcasts have been all the rage nowadays with the rapid digitization and many content creators aspiring to make a podcast tend to contact companies who provide professional help in this regard.
Kristen says
Thank you so much for sharing! This is such a relatable topic for me. I have two daughters, 3 and 1.5, and so many things you said made me feel like I was reading my own thoughts. I've been stuck in "part one" for what seems like forever, but I'm looking forward to applying some of these changes. Please keep sharing your heart!!